Sunday, October 12, 2008

the WANTED! signs of times

im working on a new blog. it's going to be a photoblog for the photos i've taken since 2005. meantime here are some things that stuck in my mind for a long time already. these are things i noticed along the streets, infront of establishements and others. most are signs i saw as i passed by and one on a personal data sheet i spied on long time ago. it was comic relief for me.
hope you enjoy this.

MUST READ SIGNS:

1. at a restaurant/bar

Wanted: WAISTRESS!

imagine what kind of added service they could provide. probably, they'd tickle you on the waist as you eat or drink your beer.

2. at the same restaurant

Wanted: Waitress! (FEMALE)

they've corrected the spelling this time but look at the description. imagine how many desperate men in drags tried to hoodwink the management to compel it to indicate and spell out the qualification. they're making sure this time they're getting only the real girls. yeah! qualification: real females only! that's why it's called waitress! that's what it means!
management: "sorry, but you can't fool us with that beard you got, miss-terr!... next!"

3. infront of a bakery

Wanted: sales ladies - apply inside - (with an added scribbling) or outside

inside, you'll be interviewed by the manager while ricky-the pimp will screen you outside.

4. at a dormitory

Wanted: bedspace for rent

the owner of the dorm can't decide whether he's offering it or looking for it while the client doesn't know whether he's applying for a job or renting a space.

5. yet, at another dormitory

Bedspacer
Avilable here!

well, you don't have to sleep alone anymore. not without our huggable, squeezable and snuggly tattooed nasty Bedspacer. get them on cash or installment. Hurry! limited supplies only. with discount on early customers!

6. in a personal data sheet

Position desired: Sales Screw

it's a new occupation where you get to be screwed around as much as the company wants. i checked other applicants' files and some wrote sales crew. this one kinda' went too far.

7. in a small, old vulcanizing shop

VULCANIZENG!

trying hard to stay true to the verb form. but, just can't tell whether it's future or present tense.

8. at the back of a van

(at the left side) passing side
(at the right side) suicide

you don't want to go to that side, buddy! believe me. that's su-sayt!
don't tell me i didn't warn you!

9. at a gate beside a doughnut shop

Pls. dont block on driveway

ok, i'll just... i'll just fold it under, buddy.


more to come. readers are free to add.

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