with the exclusion of the country's favorite spectator sport in this year's south east asian games due to reasons that resonates practicality (what with the global recession and all), the host country, Laos, has, instead, suggested the following games as substitutes:
foot-wrestling - (look, they've prepared a team for this event already-the best and the brightest)
Rodent-rugby - works like rugby, but a rodent takes the place of the ball. you have to seize the rodent first before you can have team possession. Spit-relay - this is very exciting to the natives. how is it played? just get the idea on how the game is called.
face-boxing - a game played where opponents try to knock each other out by head-butting one after the other without the receiving-opponent dodging the head-butt. first to quit loses.
cant wait to watch these thrilling games. we just have to wait until december to watch the games in Laos.
at the hearing on the alleged bribery attempt of the "alabang boys" at the House of Representatives, the three suspects looked more like contestants in a valentine dating game.
look who asked to join in the show (even took the time to dress up)...
now, check out who tried to catch up with the group...
the winner will get the 270M lotto jackpot and a date with "Madame Van Damme"- Ms.Bulakalak ng City Jail 2009.
This is what happens when a no good, war-freak mayor from the province tries to play a game of golf.
Since it’s his first time, he brings his goons with him and flashes all his mediocre stuff in the bag. To let people know he’s sozi and knows his way in the club
when he tees off, he does it by throwing the golf ball in the air then hit it as it falls back down using the iron as a bat. He firmly knows tiger woods as a baseball player, hence the way he tees off.
In the fairway…he doesn’t like long walks. he skips the fairway and goes right on to the greens.
In the greens, he would use the iron as cue stick to drive the ball into the hole.
He ends his game all in one fairway as he hates going through the hassles of moving from the first to the last hole.
And if anyone, I mean anyone at all, bothers him along the way, he beat the crap out of them. It doesn’t matter if it’s a senior citizen or a kid. And he will beat them not once, but will call his other goons and go after the adversary along the halls of the club and continue pounding on them to his heart's content.
He looks around and sees his cabinet-member dad looking on and say: “hey, dad, look! I’m beating the crap out of people. Whoopteedooo!”
And the high level politician replies: “nice work, son! I told you you’ll like golfing”
when the son reads in the news: "DAR Chief's Son Involved in Mauling". he defends himself saying, "nakita nyo ba akong nag-malling?!"
Yeeepeee! And they live free from legal hassles because of their strong political influence.
here it is! all those who can't wait to hurl their shoes onto george bush, here's is your chance. some imaginative yet slothful individuals, who spends their idle time scanning their television for bad news about george bush, have actually created a program that lets anyone pitch their shoes onto a docking face of george bush.
isn't that amazing? that has to be the scientific breakthrough of the year. if not the decade or the century. somebody has got to give these guys a nobel prize for this wonderful idea/project turned into a workable method for the release of personal anger, resentment or rage against their politicians. somebody's got to nominate these geniuses to the rock n roll hall of fame. 'coz they rock! whoohoo!
i wrote about this in my december 15 post entitled "missed by a shoe string". and this is realy unbelievable. it's now a real game.
the senate blue ribbon committee looking into the infamous fertilizer scam is set to conduct another hearing on the case during the holidays. in the hearing, maritess aytona, the alleged "runner", will give her account on the scam. after months in hiding, she appeared to senator richard gordon seeking protection from the threats to her life.
that sounded like an overplayed music already. joc-joc bolante sang it after being arrested in the US. to prevent his deportation to the philippines, bolante gave crappy excuses like threats from the communists and vigilantes and all that. in the end, US magistrate hearing his case told him: "nice try, but sorry, we have to send you back"
december 22 is calendared for the next hearing. and another possible goof is set to deliver her performance. whether she will simply drop crap in the senate hall or tell the truth, that we will have to see.
meantime, there's this news that bolante is planning to offer a gift of a musical presentation to everyone attending the hearing on december 22. in the spirit of the season, bolante is said to be offering his heartfelt rendition of a didith reyes hit which is now the theme of a reviled abs-cbn primetime drama- the song "bakit ako walang hiya?".
oh yeah!...
to escape prosecution and imprisonment, there's nothing else he can do other than say...
in economics news, bernard madofff, ex-nasdaq chief was held for USdollars 50B. fraud. that's US 50Billliiooon (no dollar sign here =( ). investigators said that madoff made that big of a money through a pyramiding type scam that hoodwinked even big european banks into investing in his firm.
50 billiioon dollars
and someone kept asking "in this economic depression, where does all the money go?". "people lacked money to invest, where have all the money go?"
well, there's your answer, my friends. just ask mr. madoff.
people in the US are all thunderstruck when they heard about the pyramid fraud committed by mr. madoff. while filipinos have seen the worst of all pyramid scams(whatever happened to the francswiss case).
not sure if it's something to be proud of, but filipinos can definitely say: "been there, done that!".
for a while there, bush look like a character in a video game dodging flying objects from everywhere. hey! now, there's an idea. someone should make a game out of it. a simple computer game that can be played on console or any other platform. the object of which should be to throw as much stuff as you can onto a dodging face of george w. bush. much like the chicken invaders. whether it be shoes, chairs, glasses or pies, you earn a point for every hit. on every level, the degree of difficulty should be the speed george w. bush dodges every hit. the higher the level, the faster bush dodges.
or it could also be any of our national and/or local politicians. with this game everybody will know how it feels to throw something at a politician. it will be a way for the people to vent their anger on their lying, fat-face leaders if they feel they voted for the wrong guy or shortchanged by the services the politicians rendered. it will be a sure hit!
the iraqi journalist who threw his shoes, one after the other, at the american president was immediately aprehended and brought to an undisclosed place where the security officers who held him berated the journalist for not hitting bush even once in those two throws. whoohoo!
"hoew could you missed him, you iddiot! i told everrybowdy to bring in our best thrrewerr. why didn't you listin to me? why did you stick with this pathitic feilure? now we doon't heave a chance anymorre!"
yeah, and the whole iraq is now dissapointed by those misses. they waited for it to happen. it's like in a basketball game where LA fans waited for kobe to score and he went: taking the ball, takes a good look at the hoop, he dribbles, drives, loses his guard, went past another, leaps, and then in a spectacular slow motion scoops the ball into the hoop while everybody stood still gazing at the amazing move and,... the ball slides around the rim, onto the other end and slips out. unbelievable!
and the whole iraq say "aaaw!"
but journalist Muntadar al-Zaidi set a record of sort. he's the only one who's done that to bush!. but that record is about to be broken as hundreds of disgruntled americans eager to get a shot at their president, who they now consider a lame duck, await his return. whoohoo!
"i'm a size 17, mr. president, here's my boot. let see if you can escape this!" (yeah!) "here's for messing up the economy!" (yeepee!) "and this one's for sarah palin!" (huh?!...)
missing by a shoe string! see how bush just laughed it off like it was a normal occurrence. like it happens every time he visits a foreign state (click the pic!)
imagine if filipinos were allowed to throw shoes at politicians. gma is in one of her lowest approval ratings in her term. gma, with her small build, should be a difficult target. but what if there are thousands who would want to fling their footwears at her? for all the injustices she has wrought. for all the resentment, the anger she's caused. a thousand shoes. that's only the first pairs. plus the other pairs. how can she ever escape?...
have you seen that youtube character Juana Change? that oversize DI who gave us a clear picture of how cha-cha is danced by the administration step-by-step. well, she's been getting a lot of exposure these days. she appeared at the makati rally against charter change last dec. 12 dancing with rez cortes. she has been featured in the news programs of two networks (that's how i learned about her) and her videos' online hits in youtube have been growing.
she's been getting a lot of attention that's for sure. and has gotten malacanang a little worried about her online anti-administration campaign.
and how is malacanang dealing with her?... they try to scare people from everything that has fat by issuing a mock up result of a DOH test on local pork declaring the pressence of the ebola strain in local hogs.
whoohoo!
close association. this administration has unfairly associated miss juana with the ebola strain issue just so as to malign miss piggy, err, miss juana.
what duh!... unfair! there's no similarity at all!
interesting news today. the english brawler rick hatton is said to be too eager to fight manny pacquiao. after pacman's impressive win over DLHoya, hatton has manifested his willingness to meet pacquiao inside the ring the soonest time possible. and sports analysts are fanning the flame on that issue. aside from the hitman, floyd mayweather jr. is also said to be mulling over coming out of his retirement after seeing pacquiao as viable challenge. he retired unbeaten recently since nobody else could get him motivated to fight. now that pacquiao has proven his tag as the no. 1 pound for pound champ, he is inspired to fight once more.
but all those talks were disregarded by the pacman. apparently, the pacman is uncertain about fighting either of the two as he thinks neither of them is mexican enough. (he's the mexicutioner remeber?...)
another interesting news today, mediamen who are covering the malacañang beat were off-limits at an early cabinet meeting in the palace. the last time journalist were allowed inside cabinet meetings, the palace drew some flak after a secretary unofficially announced the extension of GMA's term beyond 2010 in a prayer.
they might have thought that since the opening invocation didn't quite work, a closed door novena might do the trick.
still another interesting news, DENR secretary lito atienza justifies his absence in the senate hearing on DENR's 2009 budget by saying his competent undersecretaries attended the hearing and he can't leave pacquiao alone in the biggest fight of pacquaio's career.
here's a good idea, why dont they fire atienza from DENR and make his undersecretaries ,who are more reliable come budget deliberations, take his post since they can do the job better anyway? and since he's too busy backing up the pacman.
his presence, as well as the other philippine officials' who were there at the fight was worthless, BTW, 'cause he didn't even take one hit from DLHoya like pacquiao did. good if he was there to catch some of DLHoya's blows, that could have spared pacquiao damage. or he could have brawled with DLHoya's thugs like B. hop, "two pounds" forbes and the rest. that would have earned for him a good excuse from attending senate hearings. but he should be excused only when he presents a medical certification indicating hospitalization for a broken bone somewhere.
so, the goofs who said off-putting languages against manny pacquiao before the fight: juan manuel marquez, "two pounds" forbes, angelo dundee and b. hopkins, as well as those who, years ago, laughed off manny's climbing up to 140-147 lbs, like f. mayweather, sr., saying manny's crazy to fight hatton or DLHoya at 147 lbs, not counting DLHoya himself who belittled the pacman during the negotiations leading to the fight, what do you have to say now?
who said oscar's gona' take the pacman back to school? oscar did'nt bring pacquiao to school, it was pacquiao who brought DLHoya back to his crib and gave him his feeding bottle for him to suck.
who did ever say that dela hoy-hoy will bring manny to his retirement after this fight? suddenly, everybody has nothing to say. from the looks of it, it looks like dela hoy-hoy will now forget about boxing altogether and just join a mexican mariachi band in mexico. a band that includes the likes of eric morales, barrera and david diaz. and with one reluctant member- juan manuel marquez.
they all said manny was too small and DLH will outdo pacman in all departments. now, if you checked the stats, manny won in all the rounds, he could have won it even if the fight went to the score cards. david diaz did better than DLH when he fought pacquiao the last time. even nacho beristain, during the fight, conceeded that the pacman was too fast and DLH can't stop him.
and manny's face never got swollen campared to DLH's.
the final punch counts says it all: pacquiao-224 punches against DLH- 83. that's not even half of paquiao's. imagine just a fifth of those punches going to the head, if that's not going to remodel DLH's face...perhaps nothing will.
so, to all of manny's detractors. we know that one day, perhaps, there's going to be somebody who's may be able to stop manny. but, sorry, not this time. 'just not the time, buddy!
and to DLH's goofy unofficial mouthpieces- dundee, forbes, hopkins and all the others, you've just got served!
